Constantly Conversation-less

Have I started a conversation with you lately and not finished it? Don’t be offended…that’s just how life is with children. Being a mom is a wonderful thing and comes with wonderful perks. However, having “eyes in the back of your head” also means that you are always keeping an eye (or ear) out for your little one(s). So no matter how interesting your story, I’m still not 100% focused on you if the kids are nearby.

Saturday was a perfect example. We had some friends over and I must have started a dozen conversations I didn’t finish. And that doesn’t even count the topics I wanted to discuss and never even got started. Someone would cry in the background and all moms would turn - “Is that my kid?”

Sunday I was having a great dinner conversation with a neighbor while our kids played, but suddenly someone was at my leg, “Mom, I poopy.” Conversation over and forgotten by the time the diaper change was completed. Hours later I sit back and think, “Oh, I need to ask her about that, since we didn’t finish our talk.”

Being an extravert, this does frustrate me. That’s why I really enjoy chatting with my favorite co-worker and my monthly girls’ night out dinner. I get to start and finish an entire thought. Although at girls’ night out, we are all trying to get a word in since all of us finally get to sit back and chat kid-free.

Those of you without kids, be patient with us. We do care about you and your thoughts…we just also want to be sure our kid isn’t tearing up something in the background. Those of you with kids…we’ll pick up our conversation right where we left it and will finish it some day – even if it takes a year or two.

Gluttony of Gift Giving

As I complete my Christmas shopping, I'm thinking again about the "gluttony of gift giving". Yep, you read this correctly – I'm almost finished with my Christmas shopping for 2009. My goal each year is to be 90% done by Halloween. I know most of you are not surprised. I shop all year and keep a spreadsheet of the inventory in my "gift" closet.

Recently a few different friends asked me about our Christmas gift "traditions". I've blogged briefly about this in the past, but wanted to write about the topic again. Here's how it works in the Wade household (for now).

We stole a gift-giving "model" from some friends that seems to have worked for them and their three kids. We'll see how it goes as the years go by and our family grows. At our house, mommy and daddy will buy 3 presents for each child and they will be wrapped under the tree Christmas morning. (My friend tells her kids that Baby Jesus got three gifts and so do they...makes sense to me and my frugal budget loves it!) These gifts are toys...not socks, not a new shirt...TOYS. And then Santa will bring one unwrapped larger gift. There may be years when the Santa gift is one even bigger gift to both girls.

I also believe that these same friends of ours make their kids each pick out 3 of their "old" toys in October/November to donate to a charity in order to prepare for the arrival of their new Christmas toys. A good way to clean a few things out and get your kids into the spirit of giving.

Another question I've gotten…then how much do we spend? No more than $100/kid. $50 for the Santa gift and $50 total for the 3 presents from us. Although that's the budget, frugal me spends much less. For example, last year Stella's Santa gift was a Cozy Coupe I got for $35 the day after Thanksgiving. Now I realize we have not yet reached the age where electronics are "critical". Not sure what I'll do when Stella wants something like that – we'll cross that bridge when we get there. And yes, I'll shop at Mommy sales and on Craigslist – even for Christmas. However, so far I'll only do that for our girls, not for other gifts we give.

Stockings? They are empty on Christmas morning. WHAT??? Yep, EMPTY. Our stockings are filled when St. Nick comes the night of December 5th. So far he brings things like holiday pjs, holiday books/videos, and a few other small items.

Christmas Eve we go to my grandmother's house and Santa comes to see all of the children. So I get to pick out another toy (gift from great-grandma via Santa) and have it wrapped for that evening for each of the girls. It's a fun evening.

The grandparents do a great job of not overdoing the gifts. I would say we are extremely fortunate in that area. I hear from other friends that dread the mountain of toys given each holiday. The kids usually get a few small items to open and then money towards either a zoo membership or swim lessons, etc. This works well for us.

The girls also get gifts from their aunts and uncles and some close family friends. I look forward to that. I think it's important for them to learn about appreciating others and picking out specials gifts for their cousins and friends.

Andy and I got out of the habit of gift giving to each other a few years ago. Instead we'd get something for the house – a new kitchen table, a new camera, etc. and call it "Christmas". Now that Stella is getting older, I want her to see us exchange something, so I think we'll reinstate the gift exchange – on a tight budget, of course!

Don't get me wrong – I enjoy exchanging gifts. So those of you that are saying "bah-humbug" about me and my 4 gift under the tree limit – you are wrong. I love nothing more than buying the perfect gift for someone, especially my kids. I just also look around our house at all of the STUFF we already have and ask "how much is too much?" We are so fortunate to 1) be able to buy things when "needed"; 2) have great people around us that give us TONS of wonderful hand-me-down toys that are in mint condition; 3) have family and friends who splurge on the girls at birthdays and other gift-giving occasions; 4) have grandparents who spoil their grandkids all year.

That is why I keep Christmas to what some people consider a "minimum". If I didn't limit myself to the 4 gifts – I'd go CRAZY. I'd buy and buy – especially since I'm a deal finder.

Am I worried about when Stella and Charlotte are older and start comparing Christmas gifts (and the number of them) with their friends? Nope. I know growing up my friends had different traditions and different types of gifts from Santa and I never really thought a whole lot about it. I was just told that Santa knew what each kid really needed and that families chose to celebrate with gifts according to each family's needs. Plus, they will definitely not be deprived. There may only be 4 gifts under the tree for each kid Christmas morning, but if you add up all the other gifts they'll receive over the holiday – WOW. They are LUCKY!

As the girls get older they will also be much more involved in the other gifts we give – whether they are store-bought or homemade. Although we try to show appreciation all year long, we also focus on certain things at Christmas. These include gifts to the daycare center, an Angel Tree family and tips to service providers.

So I hope that answers the questions I've gotten recently. As the holidays get closer, I'll be back with more discussions on traditions. Thought I'd start here as I "wrap-up" my gift buying this year.

Your gift traditions/limits?? I'd be curious to hear about them…

From Cost-Conscious to Cost-Convenient

Many of you know how frugal I am. I only buy something on sale. I rejoice when I save $15-$20 on a grocery bill by using coupons. I shop the Mommy Exchange sales for toys and clothes for the girls. I love Craigslist. The Target $1 bin is heaven to me. I can't stand to part with money without really justifying it first.

HOWEVER, I am also known to really appreciate higher quality items and convenience items (after 10 years together, Andy has rubbed off on me a bit). I must also admit that now that I have kids, I cave more often. Convenience overrides cost. Our recent vacation to Florida was a great example:

Airport Parking Garage – I remember the days when we parked offsite, took the shuttle, and had a $1 off/day coupon…go us! Last month we spent the high dollars to park at the terminal under covered parking and even paid the $3 for the luggage cart. I cringed the entire time.

Baby Items – Yep, I stocked up on things that make travel easier, but come with a cost. I packed disposable bibs. Who wants to be in an airport or out at a restaurant toting around a bib with crap all over it…not me. I also stocked up on a few of the Gerber DHA fruit and cereal mixes (Apple Vanilla something is Charlotte's favorite). Not because I wanted the DHA one that costs way more…but because it's thicker than most and great for feeding on the go. Diapers and wipes – purchased upon arrival. Again, cringed at the price, but couldn't justify packing them. (However, I did pack coupons!!)

Groceries – We got back home around dinner time when our trip had ended. We decided to pick up food on the way home. I really did not feel like stopping at the grocery, but we really needed milk for the next morning. So, I ordered 4 milks at the drive-thru window (along with our other drinks). The worker laughed when I told her she was saving me a trip to the store. Although it cost me the price of 2 gallons of milk…I was glad to head straight home!

They say people never change. On the other hand, sometimes we do flex a little based upon our situation. Like I mentioned previously in my "In-Betweeners" post, I work to pay for these conveniences. However, now I’m off to cut coupons…

What are the conveniences you splurge for?